In the end, you can't say I didn't try...

I came back from my European adventure about a month ago and boy was it an adventure.  From landing just in time before airport closings all over Europe due to the Icelandic volcano eruption, to being yelled at TWICE in French on the Paris subway system, to getting off the tram in Amsterdam to a lovely view of men urinating in outdoor communal urinals – it was definitely a trip to remember.

I came back to the States, happy and so grateful for such a trip.  And I knew that it was not only a trip for fun and adventure but one of self-reflection and inspiration.  I took a leap – I did something for myself, by myself.  And amongst the crazy stories I also have extraordinary ones – like an unplanned dinner with three of the five 2010 Rolex Young Laureates or standing at the top of the Eiffel Tower with a personal view of the entire city of Paris or standing in Anne Frank’s bedroom of the Secret Annex and being able to feel and understand her journey from a time not that long ago.

You see, I created a goal for myself a little over a year ago and that was to see more of the world - to experience life outside of the neighborhoods and streets which are familiar to me; to allow myself to learn not through textbooks but through experiences, through conversations, and through exploring the unknown.

And in reflection of my recent trip, what has emerged for me as a personal truth is this:  That in life I always go after what I want and at times I’d get it and become victorious. But other times frustration arose when I didn’t get it.  When with all my might and power I did my best, but still my best just wasn’t good enough.  And I had defined those times as failures but now I know different – they were opportunities for growth; my lessons of “If at first you don’t succeed; try, try again.”

So now when the hurdles are too large or the race is too long and I get tired, I know I always have two options to winning. Either take that break, regain my energy and finish the race or simply change my focus, pave out a new path and finish a whole new race.  Because my truth states that I define what my victory will look like not for the crowds but for me.  And amongst the talk and even the judgments, I know that in the end, you can’t say I didn’t try.

Me at the top of the Eiffel Tower - Paris, France

4 countries in 10 days and I'm just getting started!

In five days I will be on a plane heading to Geneva, Switzerland!  My best friend has been assigned there for work for 3 months and I will be visiting her and seeing all Europe has to offer!  Last year, around this time, I started thinking about my life as a pivotal point was approaching – my 30th birthday.  I thought about everything I had accomplished up until that point and I was very satisfied with all I had done except on thing – I had not seen enough of the world.

My senior year in high school I was fortunate that my parents allowed me to go on a senior trip to Italy and for one week we visited Rome, Florence, Assisi and Venice. (picture on left: me with high school friends on a gondola ride in Venice, Italy)  It was so much fun and exciting to see in person the landmarks that I had only experience in the textbooks up until that point.  Other than that, the only two places “overseas” I have visited are Puerto Rico and the Dominican Republic.

So I became determined to see the world and as soon as I declared it, the universe agreed. Last May, another close friend was traveling to Germany for work and casually stated “You should come with me.” To which I quickly replied, “Yes!”.  It was the most spontaneous big trip I had ever taken and one that I will never regret. We stayed in Frankfurt, traveled to Munich and the days she worked I explored the city alone and even taking a 2 hour train ride to visit Kassel and its national park with castles and waterfalls. (picture on right: solo trip to Kassel, Germany)  I had conquered Germany and couldn’t wait to see more of the world!

Now in less than one week, I will be exploring Europe and can not be more excited!  I will be walking the streets of four great cities - Geneva, London, Paris and Amsterdam. My bags are almost packed and heart filled with content.

Latinos, represente!

It's been awhile since a new TV show came on that I was not only excited about but had strong Latino characters that I respected and felt represented Latinos in a positive light.

How To Make It In America is a HBO series from the producers of Entourage and I must say it has the same flavor and realness that I've enjoyed as an Entourage fan. Not to mention that a lead character Cam (played by Victor Rasuk), is not only Latino but one pursuing his dream.  He and his best friend Ben - who growingly gets cuter with each episode - are out to make it big as entreprenuers but life has challenges waiting for them at each turn.  Their persistance and drive is catchy, so much so, I was sad when I realized last night's show was the season finale.

And although I was upset at first that the second Latino character on the show Cam's cousin Rene (played by Luis Guzman) was an ex-convict, as the show continues you begin to have a soft spot for the guy as you see that he is trying to do right by himself. And as the his character unfolds, I appreciate and love his honest and at times comical relationship with his Catholic priest. A unique friendship where you are allowed into hearing his confessions and understanding  his internal battle of doing right without doing any wrong. 

So kudos to HBO for another great series and I look forward to catching season two very soon!

Coincidence VS. Fate

I have learned not to believe in coincidences; that there really is no such thing and everything in life has its purpose - all happening for a reason. However, lately I've been experiencing such "coincidences" in my life and noticing how quickly I become the skeptic and wonder is this really a sign of fate or is it just a darn coincidence?

I think it all falls under the same bracket of how it's easier to give someone else advise but harder to take that same advise in your own life. Or maybe it's a past of disappointments that have lead me to question the unveiling of destiny in my life. Do I gather the courage to move forward in a possibility of something that fate may have placed in my path or do I turn around and move in the other direction because it just seems to oddly coincidental to be true?

In the end, I decided that instead in believing in signs, I'm going to believe in me. That way, I'm always guaranteed a win.

When the ones that you wish did, don't; and the ones you wish didn't, do

It's an unsolved mystery in the world of dating. I don't know if I'll ever find an answer but men if you're reading...take note and take action.

And the story goes:

Scene 1: A guy spots you standing by the bar;

Scene 2: You are friendly, engage in an okay conversation and hope that the cute guy on the opposite end of the room notices how open and welcoming you are to men approaching you.;

Scene 3: You finally break free from "okay guy" who turned into "annoying guy" and smile at cute guy from across the room and wait for his approach;

Scene 4: Cute guy for some reason is stuck in his corner and never makes a move while "annoying guy" for some reason is stuck next to you and wants to have his babies and you wonder, why!? Why God why!?

So in the meantime I'm waiting for the day Scene 5 finally gets to play out where cute guy notices you a.k.a. cute girl, confidently excuses his interruption of the conversation, pulls you out onto the dance floor and the two of you never stop dancing! The End.

2010 (pronounced twenty-ten): My Best Playlist Yet

So I love music - it can help lift your spirits, calm your sorrows and celebrate your victories. Recently I made my latest and best yet ipod playlist entitled 2010 and was told that I should share it. 2010 for me is a fun, live life to the fullest playlist and I encourage you to create your own 2010.

So without further ado, here it is....Enjoy!

My Top Eight (in order of appearance):

1. KAWL ME by Joel Ortiz
2. OUR DREAMS by Method Man, Ghostface Killah and Raekwon
3. NOTHIN' ON YOU by B.o.B.
4. KNOCKOUT by Lil Wayne & Nicki MInaj
5. SAY HEY (I LOVE YOU) by Michael Franti & Spearhead
6. HOLD YOU by Gyptian
7. CARRY OUT by Timbaland and Justin Timberlake
8. A STAR IS BORN by JayZ

Bonus Track just added this morning!!! (And I think it's gonna take the #1 spot)
ARMADA LATINA by Cypress Hill featuring Marc Anthony and Pit Bull


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Silly Girl...

As I find myself more comfortable in my own skin, I notice my self-expression becomes at ease and self-doubt graciously leaves.

It’s more notable now because of a practice of Faith that I, as a Roman Catholic, took on through the tradition of Lenten fasting. This Lent I gave up alcohol and red meat - a choice primarily for its health benefits; secondarily for a test of my own self discipline. And so far, so good...if you minus the ham I had on Day 1 when I somehow forgot ham was red meat! But what I find more interesting is that as I have eliminated the opportunity to be drunk with alcohol, I have allowed myself the possibility of being drunk with laughter.

Friday evening I went with my homegirl and friends to a favorite NYC spot. And there I engaged in what would have been a great first date if it was planned as such. I met a gentleman that night – tall, dark and handsome – and our conversation was fun with lots of laughter and even some crying because what had just occurred was just THAT FUNNY! And as I sat in conversation sipping on my water, what was even funnier was that apparently I act drunk even without the alcohol.

The following evening I attended a dinner gala of a Fraternal Organization and enjoyed an evening of meeting gentlemen with a glass of water in hand. There was laughter, dancing and the occasional funny moment that was followed by “there must be something in the water”.

So in the end, this weekend my drunken spirit came alive. It is one of amusement, excitement and adventure. Secure in its expression and trusting in the path that will follow. And it loves to party and lives for always experiencing the “good times” in life.

My spirit is drunk with silliness, laughter and fun and any hangover simply means there is more enjoyment to come! Bring it!

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The Most Valuable Player

Since I first heard how fun and exciting the experience was, I couldn't wait until I would be able to experience it for the first time.  And after years of waiting, I finally had my first experience yesterday.  My first-ever hockey game - watching the NY Rangers victory over the Philly Flyers at MSG.

And I have to say, I'm hooked and it truly lived up to all the hype! I didn't know how exciting it would be to see men on ice roughing each other up but after a few pushes, crashes and hits with sticks, I found myself yelling, "Hit Him!".  Every moment was intense and action-packed - a player even lost a tooth during the game - and I loved it!   And as the usual story goes, I started developing a crush on the team's official bad-ass.

Then I got to thinking about what attracts a lady to a "bad boy" and for me it has everything to do with knowing that this man can protect you.  That when going up against the "evils" of the world, I as a lady, know that I am with a man that is strong and will fight any evil that comes our way.  Now let's be clear, this doesn't mean I need a full-time fighter because that same day I saw a gentleman at play.

I went to the game with my friend, her sister and father and I must say I felt like the third adopted daughter.  I was quickly turned away by his daughters when I took out my wallet to pay for my part of lunch and he looked at my friend and said, "tell her the rules" and then was told how I was a guest and he would be offended if I didn't let him treat me to snacks at the game as well.  And I got really clear of how these two women were raised in allowing and expecting a man to take care of "his girls" - whether defined as mom, girlfriend, wife, sisters or daughters.  And as an official daddy's little girl, it became very clear to me why to this day I haven't expected anything less either.

So gentlemen and bad-asses alike - a woman is willing to be your #1 fan, root for your victory and comfort you after a loss; as long as we know that you are there to protect us, not defeat us.

At my first hockey game - the NY Rangers at MSG in NYC

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...and I'm just not that into you either...

I went on another first date last night and to be honest, it was also the last date.  Now to be fair, he was a perfect gentleman and the conversation was engaging - well, for most of the evening.  However, I knew from the moment he said hello that it just wouldn't work.  We met through an internet dating site - as I'm being open to broadening my opportunities in meeting new men, blah, blah, blah - and I liked our written communication with each other and even his pictures, he looked good and I was excited to meet him.


I was one block away from where we were going to meet and as I waited for the crosswalk sign to turn green, I heard the cathedral bell sound as the clock struck 8...dooom, dooom, dooom.  I remember wondering if this was a sign and if it was, sounded like the sign right before a terrible fate revealed itself.  But I stepped forward and saw him waiting for me outside.  And to my pleasant surprise he still looked good - well-dressed, nice height and the messenger bag and scarf look that I can appreciate.  I smiled, moved forward, said hello and then he spoke…

Now I’m open-minded but the minute he said hello I just knew it wasn’t going to work – I was immediately turned off or should I say not immediately turned on. Whichever it was, it just wasn’t happening for me. But then I flashed back a scene in the movie “He’s Just Not that Into You”, where the guy is describing the girl at the bar giving all her attention to the handsome guy who’s clearly “not into her” and ignoring the quieter guy on her other side who would give her all the attention she wants and is into her and think, I should give this a try.

And I did and my conclusion is my first instinct was right.  Now I’m not saying for single ladies to continue giving attention to the guy that is “just not that into you” but I am saying that women know yourselves, trust your instincts and don’t settle.  If you’re “just not that into him”, it’s okay and no, we don’t have to keep giving them chances especially if chemistry is something important to you – it is for me!

So I will continue to go on many more first dates until I have my last first date with the guy that “had me at hello”.

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Dream mi'jas, Dream Big!

 

"Little Judge" by Lalo Alcaraz

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